When I Am Dead, My Dearest

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.

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Similar to her ‘Remember Me’, this poem asks the loved one (‘my dearest’) not to engage in conventional mourning rituals (‘sad songs’, ‘roses’, ‘cypress’). It expresses a detachment from the world and even from memory itself, suggesting the speaker will be beyond earthly concerns and leaving the act of remembering entirely up to the survivor’s will.

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More Funeral

I cannot say and I will not say
That he is dead, he is just away.
With a cheery smile and a wave of hand
He has wandered into an unknown land;
And left us dreaming how very fair
Its needs must be, since he lingers there.
And you-oh you, who the wildest yearn
From the old-time step and the glad return-
Think of him faring on, as dear
In the love of there, as the love of here
Think of him still the same way, I say;
He is not dead, he is just away.
I’d like the memory of me
to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow
of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo
whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times
and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve,
to dry before the sun;
Of happy memories that I leave
when life is done.
Feel no guilt in laughter, they’d know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that they’re not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; they would not want you to.
They’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you, a word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,
That brings them back as clearly as though they were still here,
And fills you with the feeling that they are always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And they will live forever locked safely within your heart.
Do not weep for me when I no longer dwell
among the wonders of the world; for my larger self
is free, and my soul rejoices on the other side.
Do not weep for me, for I am cradled
in the arms of God. I walk with the angels,
and hear the music beyond the stars.

Do not weep for me, for I am known.
I am loved, and I am safe from all harm.
Do not weep for me, for I shall return,
again and again, to whisper clues to you
of eternal life and growth without end.
Do not weep for me, for I am home.
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

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