As funeral directors, one of the most common questions we are asked is, “What is the correct etiquette at a funeral?” People often want to know what to wear, what to say, how the service should run, and how to support someone after a loss. Our answer is always the same.

While a plan and structure can help, the most meaningful funerals are those that reflect the life, values and wishes of the person who has died, and the hopes of those who love them. There are many traditions across different religions and cultures, but many families now choose to create something personal that truly represents the person they are remembering. That might be a traditional service in a church or place of worship, or it could be held at a crematorium, cemetery or private venue. Families may include readings, hymns, poetry, music, video tributes, favourite songs, shared memories or printed booklets with photographs. Whatever the faith or format, every farewell should feel right for the family and for the life being honoured.

What Might a Funeral Involve?
Funerals vary depending on religious or cultural practices, but there are some familiar elements that appear in most services:

The Gathering
Close family and friends may choose to gather at the home of the deceased or another location and follow the hearse to the place of the funeral. This is often a quiet and respectful moment of togetherness before the service begins.

The Service
The funeral service may include readings, prayers, hymns, poems, eulogies, music and moments of reflection. This could be led by a religious minister, a civil celebrant or a close friend or family member. Some families include a photo tribute on screen or provide an Order of Service with words, images or personal messages. The format and content are guided by the family and shaped by what would have meant most to the person who has died.

The Reception
After the service, it is common for people to gather at a family home, community hall or chosen venue. This is a time to continue sharing stories and memories, enjoy favourite music or food, and be together in support and reflection.

Flowers and Charities
Some families invite floral tributes, while others ask for donations to a chosen charity. Either is a thoughtful and meaningful way to pay tribute to a life.

What to Wear to a Funeral
Traditional funeral attire in the UK is often black or dark coloured clothing. However, many families now request something more personal – whether that is a favourite colour, something cheerful, or clothing that reflects a particular theme or memory. Unless stated otherwise, it is best to choose modest, respectful clothing in muted tones. If you’re attending a funeral of a different faith, or at a place of worship you’re unfamiliar with, and you’re unsure what to wear, please don’t hesitate to contact us for guidance if you don’t feel comfortable asking the family directly.

Keeping in Touch After the Funeral
Grief does not stop when the funeral ends. In fact, the days and weeks that follow can feel especially lonely. Reaching out with a phone call, message or visit can mean a great deal. You do not need to find the perfect words — simply showing you care is enough. Continuing to check in over time can be one of the most helpful things you can do.

Remembering Loved Ones on Special Occasions
Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and other milestones can be emotional and difficult for someone who is grieving. These moments also offer gentle opportunities to remember the person they have lost. Lighting a candle, visiting a special place, sharing a toast, or simply saying “I am thinking of you today” can bring great comfort. Small gestures show that their loved one is not forgotten.

A Final Word
Whether you choose a religious service, a civil celebration, or something completely personal, there is no single way to say goodbye. What matters most is that the day reflects the life and character of the person who has died, and that it brings comfort to those who are left behind.
If you are planning a funeral or supporting someone who is, we are here to guide you, offer reassurance and help you honour a life in the way that feels right.