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Just What Do I Do With My Loved-One’s Ashes?

One of the questions that I get asked the most as a funeral director is, “what should I do with the ashes following the funeral”? It is one of those questions that the majority of people would never have even begun to consider until they were suddenly faced with the loss of someone that they’d cherished, and they have to make a decision that affects the final resting place of their loved-one.

What you do with the ashes, which are the cremated remains of your loved-one that are returned to you after a funeral, is an intensely personal decision and one that is not always easy to make. Our family still has the ashes of our nan, as we can’t quite decide what would be the most fitting resting place for her, so if you are struggling with what to do, you can rest assured that you certainly won’t be the only one in that situation.

The list of things that can be done with ashes is almost endless, and that vast array of things to consider can sometimes be the sticking point. For some, it’s possibly an easier decision to make; someone that had spent their entire life at sea, for example, may well want their ashes scattered in their favourite stretch of ocean, or you may know that your loved-one had a special location or beauty spot where they want to be laid to rest.

Some of the more unusual things that you can do with ashes is to have them made into fireworks to be shot into the sky, or added to a living reef under the sea, pressed inside a vinyl long-playing record, or added to shotgun cartridges for people that were avid clay pigeon shooters. Some of the more regular things that you could do are to have a position of the ashes made into an item of jewellery, keep them in an urn chosen by yourselves, plant them under a tree or rose bush in your garden, or have them scattered in the crematorium’s garden of remembrance.

Perhaps the most important pieces of advice that I can give are these simple things. Take your time; there is absolutely no rush. The decision is an important one, so don’t feel pressured by anyone. Don’t just put the ashes away somewhere that you won’t remember once you have made your decision, keep them somewhere safe, as they are precious. Once you’ve made your choice, relax; don’t fret that you’ve made the wrong choice, sometimes we can be very hard on ourselves!

We have an extensive range of urns and scattering tubes on our website and would obviously be very glad to supply you with a beautiful urn to help you cherish your loved-one’s memory. Just click on the “URNS” link in the menu. Then give us a call, and we’ll take care of the rest.

With love as ever, Matthew.


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